I was sitting outside a Wawa after giving my neighbor a ride up there one night around midnight. As I was waiting, Tampa once again showed her true colors:
I gave a hobo a smoke while out here waiting for my neighbor, and he has filled me with blessings from the lord. Also, he has informed me that Donald Trump is the Antichrist, the dead president of Israel is possessed by Beelzebub, and on April 19th, Islam will invade the United States from their stronghold in Montgomery, Alabama, bringing about the Rapture, amongst other very, very detailed things that are too dizzying to type. He was talking in a monotone, but rather quickly and deliberately… I grabbed what I could for my report here.
I showed him the cross tattooed on my forearm and said “We’re already aware. No worries, my brother… that is my birthday. They’re gonna get shot.”
He smiled and went off to bless another sinner.
My birthday is gonna be the start of the Apocalypse. How bad ass! You’re all jealous, I can tell.
POSTSCRIPT ADDED AFTER GETTING HOME: My neighbor Linda got in the car a minute after I typed this up and seemed frantic. “Drew, did you see that crazy guy who just pulled a knife on the manager?!!! Oh my God! Cops are coming!!!!” She then wondered why I grinned widely until I explained all of this that I had just recorded.
I couldn’t get a good enough look to see through the flashing lights and storming Boys in Blue to see if it was MY prophet of the Lord that had threatened the Wawa manager… but it would be awesome if it was. Granted, the guy bearing witness to me was bald and scary, I suppose… but then so am I, so he didn’t threaten me. Probably some other lowlife. My guy was far too interesting to be a mere silly criminal… MY GUY needs his own radio show, STAT! 😁
